The consulting firm I work for sends out a recruiting cross check once a month. I always review to see if someone I used to work with is on it. If I have a good impression of them I hope we hire them. In two years this has generally been the case. Today was an exception. The name of an ex-boss from twelve year ago was on the list. My impression of him was not good. In fact he is the worst boss I ever had and in over twenty years I have had many bad bosses. I was asked at my exit interview from that large consumer lending company one question as it related to the company, my department director and my immediate boss if I felt that they cared about my personal growth and career advancement. It was a strangely cathartic question. My answer was that I felt the company and my department directory did care about my career. But, my immediate manager, I felt he did everything to ruin my career at this company I spent 8 year of my life working for. In fact, he was the last boss I had there.
However, that was 12 years ago. People can change. Ex-boss got a demotion after I left and about a year later joined the ranks of consultants. It’s really astonishing we have not crossed paths before this.
The golden rule, which despite my lack of church going I try to follow, states that one should do onto others as you would have them do onto you. It does not say that one should do onto to others as they would do onto to you. Ex-boss would have nixed me if the tables were turned. Of that I am quite sure. But because I like to actually follow the golden rule I had to think about if I would nix him. I mulled it for a bit.
Then I pinged a buddy for advice:
Me: hey, I'm torn...
Buddy: Hi Torn how are you ?
Me: I was looking over the cross check and saw the name Ex-boss.... he was my last boss at large consumer lending company... not the nicest person in the world...
Buddy: than veto him
Me: but he has skills we could use...
Buddy: if he is not nice veto
Buddy: we can always find the skills
Buddy: team dynamics is harder
Buddy: witness where you have been
Me: yes, he was a master at divide and conquer.... it's been 12 years though.... people can change...
Buddy: no he hasn't
Buddy: not if he was a master
Buddy: he has just gotten worse
So, that settled it. I sent the recruiter my concerns about Ex-boss. And part of me is really savoring the revenge factor…
